Australian Animals

Land of Marsupials

Kangaroo

Meeting a Kangaroo is like this: 

A. either she is completely apathetic towards you

or

B. She grabs you with her arms, stands on her tail and uses her long center toe claws to scratch your eyes out. 

We gave her some (apparently tasty) mealy pellets, which she seemed satisfied with. Then I told her this joke about a dingo and a wombat which she didn’t find funny and she just looked at me until I walked away. 


Koalas
smell good. They eat a 100% Eucalyptus diet, so you know, you aroma what you eat. 

We opted against patting the Koala because it seems to stress them out and who wants to stress out a living teddy bear?


Tasmanian devils
can run 25km/hr and eat dead flesh. They are nocturnal. While it’s good for corpse clean-up, it’s also terrifying. 


Dingos are most closely related to Asiatic Wolves, but 10x cuter and 100% more Australian.

 

Wallabies are cute. Mini-kangaroos (sort of) who can be domesticated. I’m not joking, google it. They have claws that don’t hurt when they scratch, kind of like a hamster. Really, R.O.U.S.s who don’t want to kill you. I mean marsupials- just little.


Wombats
sometimes sleep on their backs with their legs out and they look funny.

 

P.S. America does have it’s own Marsupial, the worst one, the Opossum